


Garreg Mach Unsolved

by Manateequeem



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Based On Buzzfeed Unsolved, Comedy, Cryptids, Gift Fic, Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:42:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22667203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manateequeem/pseuds/Manateequeem
Summary: Claude, Hilda and Ignatz put on their detective hats to find out the mystery behind the secret cryptids of Garreg Mach.For Hayse ❤
Kudos: 52





	Garreg Mach Unsolved

**Author's Note:**

> This is super late but MERRY CHRISTMAS HAYSE!!! Berry (@itswingberry), Ray (@rachelmds and beastprince on ao3), Ray (@tzubakis and doylesmom on ao3) and I all worked together to make a late gift for you for the Garreg Mach Discord Server Secret Santa!
> 
> Please enjoy this little fic about the mystery of garreg mach (just in time for the dlc too :) )
> 
> (ALSO the lovely art is done by @rachelmds !!)

“Professor, may I speak with you for a moment?” The edges of Dimitri’s lips curved downwards in a frown as he approached Byleth, who was happily eating a dangerously high number of sweet buns with her students. “I have a slight problem.”

 _The prince has a problem? This should be interesting._ Claude rested his head in his hand as he leaned over the table from his spot opposite Byleth to listen in on the conversation. Garreg Mach was in dire need of drama, and it looked like Hilda was thinking the exact same thing, twirling her bubble-gum hair between her fingers and smiling as Dimitri began to speak.

“Raphael and I were heading to the pantry to look through our,” his blue eyes flitted around nervously, “…private supply, and-“

“It was all gone!” Raphael lamented from beside Dimitri, a look of pure anguish spreading across his usually cheerful face. “All the cheese- _the fresh Gautier cheese_ \- gone!”

“The cheese?” Hilda giggled, manicured hand covering her mouth. A grin graced Claude’s face, _maybe Dimitri wouldn’t bring any fresh drama, but at least he was entertaining._

“Yes, I enjoy cheese from time to time, is that so wrong?-“ Dimitri’s cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment, “And I keep some away from the main kitchen to eat privately, but I fear someone has stolen it!”

“Hey, I don’t think anyone in the monastery is stealing chee-“ Claude began, but was promptly interrupted by the stoic Professor.

“Some _one_ hasn’t stolen it- but some _thing_ might have.” Byleth spoke like there was some sort of great conspiracy- and if Dimitri’s secret passion for cheese didn’t catch Claude’s attention, this new mystery certainly did. Dimitri and Hilda both gasped in synch.

“What d’you mean, Teach?” Claude persisted, “You haven’t seen some sort of monster, have you?” he tried joking, testing the waters, you could say.

Byleth nodded, “Actually, I have.” She took a large bite out of the pastry in her hand, wiping the corner of her mouth with a napkin and chewing happily.

“You have to expand on this, Professor!” Ignatz chimed in, having magically teleported beside Hilda.

“Yeah! You can’t just leave it there, Professor!” Hilda agreed.

“Well,” Byleth wiped her hands on her shirt, “There I was by the fishing pond one evening, not too long ago- I was certain I could catch a big one-“ she added, “and this huge, lumbering shadow appeared from behind me.” Her students listened with bated breath. “I turned around and saw _something_ with a massive frame and dark thick hair-“

“Fur?” Ignatz questioned, notepad and pencil in hand as he hastily sketched out a furry beast to match Byleth’s description.

“Maybe.” Byleth nodded, expression blank as she stretched over the table to take one of Claude’s own untouched sweet buns.

“So? What did you do then?” Hilda asked.

“I guessed it was something to do with Rhea, so I went back to fishing.” She finished lamely.

“Professor, are you saying that there’s a beast, possibly roaming around the monastery as we speak, and you just,” Dimitri looked absolutely terrified, so different from the usual poise he carried with him, “let it be.”

“Exactly that.”

“It’s kinda like a cryptid.” Hilda spoke happily, seemingly now unaffected by the entire affair as she inspected her nails lazily. Perhaps Garreg Mach was doing a good job of desensitising the students from creatures like Demonic Beasts. Or maybe Hilda was just bored.

Well, Claude was the best at curing Hilda’s boredom, “Hilda,” he swivelled to face his partner in crime, “what say you we investigate this little mystery.”

“Really? I’m sure what the Professor saw wasn’t _actually_ a _monster_?” Hilda’s gaze flickered to land on Dimitri and Raphael again, who both continued to look heartbroken, and then toward Byleth, who looked dead serious. “Ugh,” she groaned, “fine.”

“Great!” Claude clapped both his palms on the wooden stained table, propelling himself into a standing position, “I declare the investigation for the case of Garreg Mach’s secret cryptid open.”

“Be careful.” Byleth waved her students off as Dimitri and Raphael joined her at the table for consolation.

“Ignatz, you’re coming with us. Those art skills could finally come in handy.” Hilda said as she wrapped her fingers around Ignatz’s wrist, pulling him along behind her.

“ _Finally?”_ he echoed.

-

“Let’s start by asking around. Who seems like they’d know something?” Claude tapped his chin thoughtfully as the three of them lay in the courtyard.

Hilda hummed, pulling at the blades of grass which tickled her folded legs, “I’ve not heard anyone talking about any monsters recently. I still doubt that there is one.”

“Being a detective is all about doubting the criminal.” Claude rolled over to face Hilda, spluttering when she sprinkled grass across his face.

“Why are you three sprawled out across the grass? Do you not have anything better to do?” Claude rolled over on to his back again, to see a familiar purple hair male blocking the sunlight.

“No.” Claude and Hilda immediately replied in synch.

“Yes?” Ignatz answered doubtfully. Claude would have scolded him for not having enough enthusiasm for their investigation, but honestly, he couldn’t really blame the painter. They were lying in a field after all.

“Actually,” Claude continued, closely analysing Lorenz’s face, which looked almost ghost like in how pale it was, “we have a few questions to ask.”

Lorenz frowned, “To ask me?” he narrowed his eyes suspiciously, “This could be one of your little schemes, Claude, I refuse.” He turned his pointed nose upwards.

Claude flashed Hilda a look and she seemed to get the message, “Aw, come on, we just want to find more out about something from a trusted source- Lorenz Hellman Gloucester himself.” She pulled on Lorenz’s hand so that the boy was sitting in the circle with the other three. “We don’t trust anyone else enough to talk about this.”

Lorenz seemed to contemplate what she was saying for a moment, “Hm, I suppose there is no one else you can trust as much as me…” he looked between the three of them, sizing them up, especially scrutinising Claude’s smug expression, but eventually deciding that they were trustworthy enough. “Fine. What is it?”

“Excellent.” Claude grinned, propping himself up and leaning his weight onto the balls of his palms. “We’re conducting an investigation, you could say, and wanted to know if you’ve seen anything _other-worldly?”_ Lorenz’s eyebrows quirked at this, and he seemed to shiver ever so slightly.

“Well, actually, I have.” His eyes were set firmly on the grass as he spoke. “It was….terrifying. I was sharing a cup of tea with Ferdinand, angelica, and there it was. A beast, with deep-purple locks- not as gorgeous and shapely as my own, mind you-“ he clarified.

“Ignatz, get this down!” Claude motioned for the other to begin sketching furiously as Lorenz continued to describe the beast.

“Oh-“ purple eyes stared intensely at Claude, “there were heaving chains around its neck! I shudder thinking about what it could have been.”

“Chains and purple hair,” Hilda repeated, as she stared at the hastily, yet effectively, sketch of the beast Ignatz had drawn, “this sounds like an entirely different beast to the one the Professor described to us.”

“The Professor also saw a beast?” Lorenz asked, taking out a royal blue handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiping the droplets of sweat from under his angular fringe. “Goddess, what has Garreg Mach come to.”

“The chains seem to connote some sort of prisoner. I’d hate to think it but,” Ignatz pushed his glasses further up his nose, “maybe Rhea and Seteth are keeping some sort of…creature in the monastery that we don’t know about.”

“An interesting theory, Ignatz.” _Could Rhea really be hiding monsters in an academy? She certainly is shady enough._ “We need more evidence.” Claude stood up, lending a hand to Hilda to help her stand. “Pleasure doing business with you Lorenz. Try not to get eaten by whatever monster is roaming around the monastery.” He smiled mischievously.

“W-What?” Lorenz called after them as the trio abandoned him to sit on the grass alone, “What do you mean by that? _Claude,_ answer me!”

-

“Are you sure the cathedral is the best place for intel gathering?” Ignatz asked, “It seems disrespectful.”

Claude hummed, “Mercedes seems like she’d know about this cryptid stuff, and the only place I can think she’d be is the cathedral.”

The three walked through the grand doorway into the cathedral, Claude’s eyes scanning the building’s interior to find the gentle lady with soft blonde hair sitting at one of the pews, talking to another student with electric blue hair.

“Mercedes and,” Hilda glanced at Caspar’s grinning form who was sitting beside Mercedes with a textbook open and sprawled across his lap, “Caspar? Why are _you_ studying?”

“Professor’s orders. Mercedes is helping me study and in return I’m helping her train!” He answered, “And what’re _you_ doing in the cathedral? You don’t seem like the religious type.”

“I’m not,” Hilda puffed her cheeks out, “we were looking for Mercedes.”

“Oh? Looking for me?” Mercedes closed the book she was holding and set it down on her lap, “How may I help you three?”

Ignatz opened his mouth to speak, but Claude interrupted, “Let’s get straight to the point, have you seen any monsters on the monastery grounds?”

“Monsters?” Mercedes gasped, “Well, now that you mention it, we did see something quite spooky,” she turned to face Caspar, “didn’t we?”

Caspar nodded vehemently, a fire in his eyes lighting up, “Yeah, we did! There were these two shadowy figures, one with bright red fur and another looked like a lion!” Mercedes shushed Caspar and he covered his mouth quickly.

Ignatz began to scribble something on his notepad, “How big were they?”

“Why, they were quite big, right Caspar?” Mercedes had a small smile on her face.

Caspar motioned with his arms as he spoke, “Absolutely humongous! You should have seen them, I was sure they were gonna come and attack Mercedes and me, and I asked her to let me at ‘em-“

“But I told him that we shouldn’t be fighting unnecessarily.” Mercedes cut in.

“Are you sure you aren’t exaggerating, Caspar?” Hilda asked.

“No way!”

“Caspar, quiet down please, we’re still in the cathedral.”

“Two more beasts...” Claude muttered to himself, ignoring the bickering of the others. None of this made any sense, he would have to ask more people. “C’mon, let’s go. Thanks for the info, Mercedes, Caspar.”

-

“Hey!” Claude looked up from the four diagrams he had spread out on one of the tables in the reception hall to find a very angry looking Lysithea approaching him with Leonie and Marianne trailing behind her.

“Hey ladies, fancy seeing both of you here!” he smiled at her, “Perfect timing actually, we have a few questions to as-“

“That’s it! Shut up about your little cryptid! You’re just causing trouble for everyone in the monastery.” She folded her arms as if to punctuate her sentence.

“What d’you mean by that?”

“Well,” Leonie began, “you should have seen Lorenz. He’s absolutely terrified- been practically stuck like glue to Lysithea all day, he’s that scared of being eaten or something. We only just lost him!”

“I don’t have time to be dealing with big scaredy-cats!” Lysithea stomped her foot on the ground.

 _Big scaredy-cats?_ Claude’s mouth twisted into a teasing smile, “Are you sure you aren’t talking about yourself? There’s nothing wrong with being scared of a big, horrible _monster_.”

“I-I’m not scared of anything!” Lysithea persisted, “And there is no monster!”

“Don’t worry Lysi, I’ll protect you.” Hilda snickered.

“H-Hey, lets not tease Lysithea too much.” Marianne said, peaking over Leonie’s shoulder.

“Oh, sorry Mari!”

“My point is,” Lysithea breathed out her nose, “there are no monsters in the monastery, so stop telling people that there are.” And with that she was turning around and retreating in the direction she came from, taking Leonie and Marianne with her.

“Well, that was interesting.” Claude broke the thick silence which had spread between them.

“And it didn’t bring us any closer to finding anything out about these cryptids.” Ignatz looked at the four pictures. One beast, as per Byleth’s description, was a big thing with dark hair, and the one Lorenz described was completely different, with more delicate purple hair and a chain around it’s neck. Not to mention the creatures Caspar and Mercedes described, with bright red and blonde hair respectively, which certainly threw a spanner in the works. “None of these things look anything alike!”

“There must be multiple of them…”

“I still doubt this whole thing, Claude. Maybe we should give up after all.” Hilda yawned into her palm.

“No, I feel like we’re getting closer.” Claude slammed his hands down on the table. “Just one more person… Someone who would know something about cryptids and monsters.”

“It sounds to me like you’re describing our dear Hubie.” Dorothea said, having heard some of their conversation and offering her advice.

“Hubert! That’s it!” Claude grinned, “Thanks Dorothea. Come on Ignatz, Hilda, get up! We’re almost there now, I can feel it!”

“Ugh, I hope you’re right about this.”

-

“Where in Fodlan is Hubert?” Ignatz complained. It was dark out now, a blanket of stars falling above the trio as they continued to trudge around monastery in search of the dark mage.

“Claude, I don’t want to do this anymore.” Hilda complained, “My boots are getting all muddy.”

“We’re indoors Hild-“

“Shhh!” Claude interrupted the two, holding out a hand to stop the others and crouching down, pulling Ignatz and Hilda down with him. “Look.” He whispered loud enough so that they could hear him. Claude pointed down the dimly lit corridor towards a hunched over form, similarly squatting on the ground.

“Is that him?”

“Looks like it,” Claude squinted his eyes so he could get a closer look at what Hubert was doing, “it looks like he’s laying...cheese along the floor.”

“Dimitri’s cheese!” Ignatz exclaimed. Claude tried shushing him, but it was too late, Hubert was standing now and looking in their direction as they peered around the corner of a wall.

“Who goes there?” Hubert asked ominously, green eyes flashing in their direction.

“It’s just me, Claude. Hilda and Ignatz too.” Claude said, rounding the corner, holding his hands up innocently in the air.

“Why were you watching me like that? Anyone with even half a brain cell can tell that you’re _scheming._ ” Hubert frowned at them.

“We’re not scheming.” Hilda pouted, “And you’re the one acting suspicious.”

“Why’re you sprinkling Dimitri’s cheese across the floor?” Claude asked.

“Now there’s a sentence I never thought I would hear out of your mouth, Riegan.” Hubert smiled dangerously.

“Hilda, you be bad cop.”

Hilda nodded sweetly, “Shut up buddy, and answer our question!”

“Do you really think that _you_ can threaten _me_?” Hubert held out his hand, allowing flames to dance on his palm.

“Whoa, whoa, let’s all get along.” Claude held his hands up again, “We just wanted to know where all of the cheese had gone. We’ve been hearing about some monsters and we thought that you’d know something about them. But it looks like you were the one taking the cheese, so we can leave the investigation there and no one needs to get hurt.”

“Yeah!” Ignatz agreed nervously.

“Hmph, Hubert sneered, “this cheese isn’t for myself.”

“Who is it for then?” Hilda asked.

“As you might know, Lady Edelgard isn’t... _overly fond_ of rats, however I find that I have a perchance for them. And I believe that the monastery is hosting a number of the creatures that need to be fed So, naturally, I have to feed them when Lady Edelgard is away in her quarters and with the resources of someone who I do not value in the slightest.”

“Dimitri?”

“Exactly.” Hubert nodded. He didn’t even seem slightly embarrassed.

Claude frowned, “If the food was going towards some little rodents, what’re all the monster sightings about...?”

A harsh creaking noise broke through their conversation, followed by a loud bang and the pattering of footsteps. Claude, Hilda and Ignatz spun around and were faced by four extremely confused looking faces crawling out in a single file line from a secret door hidden underground.

“My rats!” Hubert cooed.

“Your...rats?” Claude deadpanned.

“Wait...” Hilda narrowed her eyes, “Ignatz, hold up your drawings.” He nodded quickly holding the drawings up beside the four who had emerged from beneath Garreg Mach.

Claude looked at the first to come out of the basement, he had a frame much larger than Claude’s own and dark hair, just like Byleth had described the ‘monster’ to have. His eyes scanned over to the next, a boy not too much older than himself with lilac hair and a chain coiling around his neck. Not nearly as haunting as Lorenz’s description. The next two were girls with red and blonde hair, neither being humungous in size like Caspar had said. “These are our cryptids.” Claude concluded, words coming out as a breathy laugh at how ridiculous the whole situation was.

“Uh,” the one with purple hair spoke, “I’m Yuri, nice to meet you.” He yeld out his hand and Claude shook it awkwardly, “This is Hapi, Balthus and Constance.” Hilda and Ignatz waved at them slowly, “We’re just here to get out food, so-“

“Don’t mind us.” Hapi spoke, reaching over to grab the plate of cheese and retreating back into the basement.

“Don’t tell anyone about this.” Balthus frowned, following Hapi down.

“Bye Hubert.” Constance waved. Yuri smiled at the group before reaching for the door and slamming it shut, leaving the group in silence.

“Hubert.” Claude broke the silence, “did you really think they were rats?”

“I don’t have time for this.” Huberts cheeks were flushed pink, and he turned on his heel leaving the trio alone again.

Dimitri rounded the corner, jogging to stand beside Claude. “Claude! Did you ever find out about what happened with my cheese?”

Claude looked between Hilda and Ignatz, both of whom shrugged at him, “I guess you could say that the case of the cryptid of Garreg Mach is closed.”


End file.
